writing

here’s why your feelings matter

I remember the moment of my awakening. Maybe you’ve heard the story – 25th birthday, Godiva peanut butter cups, almond bubble bath, beeswax candles, tears, drugs – a night laced with many lessons, including this one. I finally stopped telling myself how I should be feeling and let myself feel what I was actually feeling. I […]

how to cope during times of crisis

Sometimes a crisis is a summons to reconfigure our entire lives. Even though we are resilient creatures, we are still easily hurt. There is purpose in pain. Often life falls apart exactly when it needs to be rebuilt. Our stories become burdensome and false. Our defences become exhausting and crumble. When we are no longer […]

the truth about self-examination

Self-examination does not necessarily lead to life balance or acceptance from others — it leads to greater freedom and authenticity. Without self-examination … … we seek comfort over greatness … safety over risk … reassurance over authenticity … the predictable over the unknown … the well worn path over forging our own Self-examination is a […]

three kinds of depression and how to deal

There are two kinds of depression that are commonly talked about: biologically based depression and reactive depression. Biological depression gets passed down through genes and is best treated with a combination of medication and short-term therapy. If you think this fits for you, check your family history to see if depression slips in and out […]

what I’d say to my teenage self

Life isn’t meant to be perfect, and neither are you. There will always be moments of pain, sadness, disappointment, hurt, and struggle. It’s part of the gig. If you tell yourself you’ll be happy when…you lose the weight, you get the job, your parents are cooler, or you friends stop being cruel—you will continue to […]

three things I wish I knew before becoming a parent

Recently, I was a full time single mom for three months. Three months of being their protector, provider, and parent 24/7. My mama has done it for thirty years. How she did it, I’ll never know. I have spent sixteen years working with kids, teens, and the adults who are responsible for little souls of […]

the origins of people pleasing + three reasons to stop

I’ve had hundreds thousands of conversations about people-pleasing. With lucid certainty and crystal clarity, from listening to mountains of regret and reading rivers of research, I can tell you – People pleasing will break your heart. Living your life just to please others – whether it’s your partner, your children, your parents, your friends or […]

is your ego healthy or unhealthy? here’s how to tell

Ego gets a bad rap. I’m hearing more and more disparaging chatter about the ego – let go of ego, transcend the ego, fight the ego, destroy the ego, bad ego bad! We can’t get rid of the ego; it’s as necessary for life as breathe. The problem is not that we have an ego, […]

what’s the secret to living a great life?

I’m often asked, what’s the secret to living a great life? I don’t think there’s one secret, I think there are many. And, what works for one person won’t work for another. This adventure called life is all about finding your own way into the life you love. But, I do have a few general […]

seven ways to deal with pain and change

A few months ago my life changed in a surprising way. The news travelled through the air, into my ear canal and down my spine with a chill that left me breathless. The axis of my world cracked and broke. In that moment, everything changed. Change isn’t always this encompassing, but sometimes it is. Whether […]

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