I found myself torn between two things that deeply matter to me – telling the truth and being kind. Truth and Kindness are at the tip top of my list of values, right after Freedom and Love.

It was a dilemma, the sort that induces a panic attack.

As first, I tried to take care of both, to tell truth with kindness. Because delivering the truth without kindness would have stung. And, I never want to hurt anyone, especially the people I love. I guess my need to not hurt him was greater than my need to be unquestionably honest.

We are all growing up in a world that teaches us how to lie. Many of us grew up in families where we were told to tell the truth, and then our parents couldn’t handle the truth, or punished us for it. So, we learned how to veil what was real. Even here, in the digital world, we’re taught to be brighter and shinier than we really are. To keep the true mess tucked inside, to be vulnerable in a tidy way.

There are times to tell the truth wrapped in the silky softness of kindness. And, there are times when the kindest thing you can do is share the raw truth, especially if it impacts their life in a meaningful way. At these times, the truth needs to be known in as few words as possible; it’s not fair to protect people from the pain of truth by softening it with kindness or veiling it with a flat out lie.

If we do, we are assuming they don’t have the capacity or intelligence to make choices for themselves and their lives. We are manipulating them and stealing their freedom by making their decisions for them. In these situations, Truth trumps. Because, anything less is unkind and disrespectful – to them and to us.

I told the raw truth because it was the right thing for me to do.
He told me he was done because it was the right thing for him to do.

Once, I wrote a book about achieving soulful goals. In it I wrote a little about self- reliance,

Connect with goals that feed your soul and can be achieved without depending on other people. This doesn’t mean you’re completely on your own; you may want others to join you on your sacred adventure, but you are not dependent on them. Though it may be uncomfortable, this frees you, and them, to live a life you love.

And then I ignored my advice.

The Great Life Tour was designed on a foundation of interdependence. Even though I knew better, it was a risk I was willing to take. And, I would do it again.

I’ve been quiet over here because I’ve been picking up the pieces of a shattered dream.

I’ve been riding on the faith – this ending is also a beginning.
I’m not sure what, exactly, is beginning, but I feel it in my bones.
And, my god, it’s glorious.

 

Stefan Makwana captures me.