when we need other people’s opinions

Anxiety and fear is often driven by our attachment to other people’s opinions {or rather, what we imagine their opinion will be}.

Nervously anticipating their judgment or upset can either be paralyzing, or it can lead us to make choices that are a performance of a false self, and not an honest expression of our truest feelings, thoughts, and desires.

This is why practices like meditation, journaling, and movement are so valuable, because they help us reconnect to ourselves. These practices help to strengthen your Presence muscle, which makes it easier to stay grounded in *your* values and *your* goals, instead of being overly attached to other people’s expectations and assumptions.

But Life is a beautiful complexity, so the opposite is also true: Sometimes, we need other people’s opinions of us.

Sometimes, childhood trauma or just the chaos of an overloaded to-do list, can become a distraction and a cloud over our vision of ourselves and what’s possible in our lives.

Maybe you’ve overlooked a natural talent or strength.

Maybe you haven’t articulated just how many moments in your history are evidence of your creative abilities, or of how truly resilient you are.

Maybe you don’t realize that your kindness and generosity is making a profound impact on others.

This is where leaning towards other people’s insights can be incredibly valuable.

Because if we’re willing to open our minds and hearts to the perspective of a trusted friend or confidante, our vision of ourselves can expand to embody the truth of who we really are.

The people who know us best can help us witness the truths we’re not seeing.

Can you open your heart to trust your spouse’s confidence in your talents and skills?

Can you soften a bit and sincerely receive your colleague’s compliment?

Can you breathe into the possibility that the friend who’s always affirming how strong and courageous you are, is entirely right?

The people who’ve seen us through our highs and lows have often witnessed traits in us that we aren’t consciously acknowledging and honoring ourselves for. And an absence of self-honoring is what unworthiness is.

So when we find a way to open up and receive their words, their beliefs can help to jumpstart the evolution of our own, and that’s one way to strengthen our worthiness muscle.

So here’s a suggestion:

The next time someone compliments you, or celebrates something you’ve done {no matter how small}, take a deep breath in and let yourself say, “Thank you”.

Receive the river of truth flowing under their words.
Receive this opportunity to honor yourself, as they’re honoring you.
I promise to honor you – now and always.