We are wired to seek pleasure.
We are wired to avoid pain.
Everything we are and everything we do is based on these two principles — the decisions we make, the thoughts we think, the actions we take.
Freud, one of my fathers, said we may lay it down that pleasure is a movement, a movement by which the soul as a whole is consciously brought into its normal state of being.
Trauma, abuse, conflict and neglect take us out of pleasure by causing pain.
For those of us who have experienced a hefty dose of darkness we can design our lives based purely on avoiding pain. Our pain will cast a shadow on our pleasure if we allow it to.
In therapy, the pursuit of pleasure is often neglected. But, on the journey to healing, one of the most important principles is pleasure.
Pleasure is essential to healing.
Pleasure nourishes us, opens us and strengthens us.
How might you surrender to pleasure? What does living in the heart of pleasure feel like to you?Try crafting a pleasure list that you can turn to on dark days. Here’s mine,
- Walking barefoot in grass
- Taking a long, relaxing shower
- Coffee with a foam heart
- A trip to the Farmer’s Market
- Rolling my mala beads through my fingers
- A good novel
- Cherries … mmmm
- The smell of fresh-cut grass
- Watching the sunrise
- A gentle morning run
- Yoga
- Green juice
- A handmade gift
- Watching the sunset
- Hugging my boys tightly
- Dark chocolate
- Dancing
- Laughing till my sides ache
- A long conversation with a good friend
- Having a lazy day
- A clean house
- Conscious conversation
- My Pinterest boards
- Pillow fights
- Singing, loudly
- Stomping in puddles
- Watching my boys use their imagination
- Helping someone in need
- Making a gorgeous meal for loved ones.
- Camping
- Sandcastles
- Floating in the water
- Savasana
- Taking an afternoon nap
- Laying back and looking up at clouds
- Watching the ocean
- A hot stone massage
- Lilacs in the spring
- Organic peanut butter cups
- Taking a hot bath with sacred salts
- Blowing bubbles
- A gentle breeze
- The feeling after a good workout
- Listening to Adele
- Or Nora
- Reading David Whyte
- Or Rumi
- Shooting hoops
- The feel of a new Rhodia notepad
- The scratchy flow of my fountain pen
- A clear desk
- Truffle popcorn
- Swinging on a swing
- Homemade brownies
- Watching animals in nature
- An empty email inbox {a rarity}
- Bliss balls
- Having a picnic in the park
- Playing in water
- Listening to the chorus of birds singing as I run through the trails
- Exchanging a smile
- Bubble wrap
- Skinny dipping in the moon light.
- Climbing trees
- Snail mail
- Shooting a ball of paper into the recycling bin – and making the shot
- Skipping stones
- Building a cairne
- Stargazing
- Unexpected gifts
- The perfect cup of tea
- Live music
- Plum wine
- The wind messing up my hair
- Butterflies
- Rain on a tin roof
- A great story
- Lace
- Fireplaces
- Thunderstorms
- The first snowfall of the season
- My toes being kissed by the waves
- Smelling the top of my boys heads
- A cold glass of sparkling rose water.
- A beautiful view
- The perfect parking spot
- Listening to music on the highway
- Cuddle time
- Tutus
- Laying in a forest
- Sipping a warm drink on a cold day
- Making first tracks on the slopes
- A beautifully crafted playlist
- Wrapping my boys in a warm blanket from the dryer
- People watching
- Fresh flowers
- My golden mug
- Street performers
- A thousand gems
- Writing poetry for you
What does your pleasure list include? And, how can you play in pleasure daily?