writing

if you’re self-sabotaging…

Why do we sabotage ourselves? What makes us choose self-defeating behaviors that directly contradict our values and greatest desires? There are a few reasons, but I’ve noticed that a lot of us tend to resist accepting one specific explanation for self-sabotage: a lack of worthiness. Does this sound like a strange connection? Here’s how self-sabotage […]

when we need other people’s opinions

Anxiety and fear is often driven by our attachment to other people’s opinions {or rather, what we imagine their opinion will be}. Nervously anticipating their judgment or upset can either be paralyzing, or it can lead us to make choices that are a performance of a false self, and not an honest expression of our […]

if you’re a parent {or love anyone, really} …

When you think about the most important things you want to give your loved ones, what comes to mind? If you’ve been here for a minute, you’re probably expecting me to say Love, right? And sure, it’ll always be at the tip top of my list, but on this question, I have a different answer. […]

how to strengthen your Presence muscle

Think back to the last high-stress situation you faced. Maybe it was a conflict at work, a tantruming child, a tough conversation with your significant other, or maybe even a song on the radio triggered an avalanche of painful memories. Do you remember that almost-spinning, desperate, dazed feeling? The powerful urge to escape, to shut […]

why resilience matters

I’m exploring India with a handful of good creatures as part of a Canadian delegation on Global Leadership. We’re bringing ideas and insights for how we can build a better world. My part is a TEDx style talk on how resilience prepares us to be good leaders and deal with difficult things. Although we live […]

how to grow together as a couple

I’ve worked with couples where growth causes a gap, where change is catastrophic. But, it doesn’t have to be that way. Change is inevitable in life and in relationships. The question is not whether someone did change or will change, the question is how will you deal with the inevitability of change. Will you stand […]

how to manage digital overwhelm

It’s noisy out there {in here}, right? Recently, I was jamming with a client on how hard it is to turn down the volume. When digital devotions slides into digital addiction, it makes an awful din. Don’t get me wrong, I love the benefits of connectivity. After all, it’s probably how we found each other. […]

how to deal with overwhelm in a healthy way

When there’s too much coming at us, when the plate gets too full, when life feels crazy it’s easy to default to unhealthy ways to cope. Don’t do it {it makes everything harder}. Stay conscious instead. First, become aware of what your unhealthy default is – do you avoid, control or submit? Avoid. Avoiding can […]

how these unconscious fears sabotage relationships

Intimate relationships are the most challenging – and potentially the most rewarding – task of living. And, one of the reasons for this is because our past wounds and fears are often reopened in them. We often enter into intimate relationships from a place of fear or lack. Protect me. Nurture me. Complete me. Meet my […]

how to find fulfillment

We all have cognitive maps {beliefs, values, defence mechanisms, issues, preferences, patterns, thoughts} that control our lives. These maps were given to us by our parents, teachers, coaches, religious/spiritual leaders, culture, or history. Do this. Value that. Like these things. Think like this. Avoid him. Pursue her. Eat this. Wear that. Feel this. Say that. […]

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