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how to deal with overwhelm in a healthy way

When there’s too much coming at us, when the plate gets too full, when life feels crazy it’s easy to default to unhealthy ways to cope. Don’t do it {it makes everything harder}. Stay conscious instead. First, become aware of what your unhealthy default is – do you avoid, control or submit? Avoid. Avoiding can […]

how these unconscious fears sabotage relationships

Intimate relationships are the most challenging – and potentially the most rewarding – task of living. And, one of the reasons for this is because our past wounds and fears are often reopened in them. We often enter into intimate relationships from a place of fear or lack. Protect me. Nurture me. Complete me. Meet my […]

how to find fulfillment

We all have cognitive maps {beliefs, values, defence mechanisms, issues, preferences, patterns, thoughts} that control our lives. These maps were given to us by our parents, teachers, coaches, religious/spiritual leaders, culture, or history. Do this. Value that. Like these things. Think like this. Avoid him. Pursue her. Eat this. Wear that. Feel this. Say that. […]

9 ways to forgive

Hurt, betrayal, disappointment, abuse, humiliation, criticism. At times, this adventure called life can be a rough one. If we are unable to move into a space of healing with these experiences they often fester into resentment, self-loathing, dissociation, revenge & numbing {my drug of choice in the past was Ben & Jerry’s}. Forgiveness is a […]

self sabotage + fear of not being good enough

The unconscious mind is a powerful force that directs our thoughts, feelings, actions, and life. Rooted in the unconscious are beliefs that either support or sabotage us. I’m not good enough is one of the most damaging beliefs I’ve come across. The foundation of who we are and how we live is built on beliefs. […]

here’s why your feelings matter

I remember the moment of my awakening. Maybe you’ve heard the story – 25th birthday, Godiva peanut butter cups, almond bubble bath, beeswax candles, tears, drugs – a night laced with many lessons, including this one. I finally stopped telling myself how I should be feeling and let myself feel what I was actually feeling. I […]

how to cope during times of crisis

Sometimes a crisis is a summons to reconfigure our entire lives. Even though we are resilient creatures, we are still easily hurt. There is purpose in pain. Often life falls apart exactly when it needs to be rebuilt. Our stories become burdensome and false. Our defences become exhausting and crumble. When we are no longer […]

the truth about self-examination

Self-examination does not necessarily lead to life balance or acceptance from others — it leads to greater freedom and authenticity. Without self-examination … … we seek comfort over greatness … safety over risk … reassurance over authenticity … the predictable over the unknown … the well worn path over forging our own Self-examination is a […]

three kinds of depression and how to deal

There are two kinds of depression that are commonly talked about: biologically based depression and reactive depression. Biological depression gets passed down through genes and is best treated with a combination of medication and short-term therapy. If you think this fits for you, check your family history to see if depression slips in and out […]

what I’d say to my teenage self

Life isn’t meant to be perfect, and neither are you. There will always be moments of pain, sadness, disappointment, hurt, and struggle. It’s part of the gig. If you tell yourself you’ll be happy when…you lose the weight, you get the job, your parents are cooler, or you friends stop being cruel—you will continue to […]

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