do you offer the truth?

​​The Suns were bickering.

The little one was telling a story.

Mostly fictional, but presented as fact.

The big one saw through the lie and called it out.

The little one’s eyes filled with plump tears, feelings hurt.

I get it.

Sometimes, the truth doesn’t feel good.

It’s not always easy to hear.

But you know what’s worse?

Being oblivious to your impact on others and having it slowly eroding an important relationship.

Last year, I experienced a friendship break-up for the first time.

I don’t know if our friendship ended because I was oblivious, or for another reason.

When she made the call to end our relationship, it hurt.

Who wants to be told you’re not wanted?

That your company is no longer appreciated in the same way?

Sometimes, the truth hurts.

But you know what’s worse?

Investing time, energy, heart, and life into a person who doesn’t really want to be there.

What would you prefer?

The ugly truth or the beautiful lie?

What do you offer?

The ugly truth or the beautiful lie?

I used to think I was being kind by shielding others from the hard moments of life.

I used to think I was loving them by keeping secrets that needed to be spoken.

I used to think I was being a good person by sugar coating my truth.

Now I know better.

I wasn’t protecting them; I was protecting myself.

I was the one who was afraid of being hurt, so I avoided the potentially painful conversations.

I was the one who was afraid of being rejected, so I showed up the way I thought they wanted me to.

I was the one who was afraid of being judged, so I didn’t speak my truth.

The reality is – it’s an unkindness to let someone exist under illusions that will crumble under the slightest bit of pressure.

If you show up as your full self, speaking your truth with love, it might not go the way you want it to.

They may disconnect.

They may not choose you.

But isn’t that up to them?

They are allowed to make decisions for themselves, and their lives based on facts and reality, not illusions and lies.

Deception is not care.

It’s control.

… back to the Suns.

I invited them to sit with me and speak their truth with love and self-responsibility.

The big Sun’s eyes got misty, “I’m just afraid that when he gets to junior high, if he says stuff like that, he won’t have any friends. I’m being way gentler with him than the kids in school will be.”

In that moment, the ugly truth transformed into something beautiful … brotherly love.

When we are given the opportunity to be in relationship with reality, we become more resilient.

The truth is a gift that gets harder to give the more we care for someone.

But the liberation and love that’s waiting inside is a treasure to be cherished.can you handle the truth?