Pain is inevitable.
In the past, I constructed my life to avoid pain at all costs. Through distraction, chronic busyness, and various types of numbing I managed to successfully navigate away from pain, but in the process I ended up avoiding life.
I would try to predict the future and if there was a possibility of getting hurt I’d squirm away. Never letting true vulnerability settle in, I defaulted to what was safe, predictable, and familiar.
On my twenty-fifth birthday I had an awakening moment and I understood the truth — in trying to avoid pain, I allowed fear rule my life.
Even though I know better now, there are still times I try to interfere with the unfolding of life, especially if pain is possible.
These four points remind me to live, and love, fully even if pain is inevitable.
creativity
Your best work will often come from your most painful moments. Dance, write, sing, paint, photograph, spin, weave, craft. When you create from the darkness your creative expression is rich and dynamic.
connection
When we express our pain we are more able to connect with others. In sharing our bumps, bruises, hurts and wounds we feel less alone. We all have a story and we have all been though pain; our experience of pain and what we decide to do with it is unique, interesting, and connective. Sharing our stories remind us of the truth, we are all in this together.
gratitude
Illness reminds us to appreciate health. Blackouts help us to appreciate electricity. Drinking dirty water helps us to appreciate having clean water to drink. Once we have navigated through pain, we are more able to appreciate how good it feels to live and love once the pain has passed.
self-awareness
Your pain can open you into knowing who you are and how you want to live. My clients share stories of how their pain shaped their self-awareness, forced them to connect to their intuition, deepened their trust in themselves, developed their character, gave them the courage to make a change, opened them up to a new way of living, and blossomed their sense of resilience.
When we try to avoid the pain of life we become susceptible to depression, anxiety, fear, living on autopilot, and addiction {drugs, food, sex, shopping}.
The more you allow yourself to fully live, knowing pain is part of the gig, the more free you are to live a life you love.
Get your heart broken.
Make the call.
Take the risk.
Try anyway.
Fall down.
Be judged.
Commit.
Start it.
End it.
Fail.
Quit.
What if the pain of your life ends up becoming the best part of the story?
Photo credit : the ever talented Catherine Just.